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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Legs Wide Closed 6

Betrayal is a cruel world.

Rumpled sheets and tear filled pillow
Sorrows grind at heartfelt willow
Love's best and betrayers widow
Search forth for that hidden mellow
Dream and reality live in shallow
Chasing dust and shadow
Frisking molds of puddles
In warm firm cuddles
Lies deceits own hurdle


I never thought I could feel so much pain for a man. It was a devastating blow like WWii just happened in my heart. I hate lies. Lies I believe is the root of all evil in life and all deaths. Stealing can be forgiven especially if it's my heart stolen by a Greek god with chisel chin, 6feet 4inches tall and firm large 6packed full chest with hairs growing like a gorilla (ok I sound like a lady in heat). Its allowed to steal in my dictionary called life but to lie...NO, a BIG NO. NO, NO, NO. Grrrr!
I loved to see his missed calls. They multipled by the hour. It's like he is stalking me with the calls but I am stalking him with revenge. How could he, like seriously, how could he? I don't care about the pretty molato, sexy slim, tall curvy lady on his arms (of course I do care who won't). That he couldn't tell me he was hanging out with her hurts like a thousand grinding machine crushing hard rocks; that he lied crowned the hurt to devastation. We were not dating in all the right sense of the word but we shared a thing, a thing called respect so that means if you want to go on a date with a sexy crush, you tell the other, if you are considering even dating her...tell the other; if you start dating her hell it is a right to tell the other. No matter how it hurts, we can find it in our heart to let go and let it be. Not LIE! I HATE LIES! I try not to tell them, though I do tell them sometimes, especially at school, when I needed to hide out and smoke some, and drink some, and just get all naughty and don't want classes to rule my fun (mind you, my grades never suffered). I tell them when I do not want to hurt my family but, a subtle one so that it's not far from the truth. You know, the ones I call exaggerated truths - when you twist the truth but not necessary tell a big fat lie.  You might say you did not see a lie in the last chapter of events; that is cause I never told you about the other night.
I snuck up to Ikram. Warming up against his body under the duvet. 'You cuddle into me like a cat' I meowed, he laughed. He turned to look me in the eye and smiled. 'you are special you know' I nodded in agreement. He planted a kiss on my lips then looked up, staring at the roof, pensive. 'What is wrong sweets' I asked. He looked at me again and smiled. Kissed me on the lips and said 'You belong to me. even if I get married or you do, I will keep f**king you cause your p***y belongs to me'. In a swift movement, He turned and laid on top of me, looking deep into my eyes 'I can't let you go babe, you belong to me'. I smiled at him but deep down, was worried about the marrying other people. I grabbed him by the head and planted a deep kiss on his lips, sucking every juicy saliva from his tongue. I pulled away and sat by the corner of the bed, staring lovingly at him 'Are you seeing anyone'? I asked. 'No, of course not, why do you ask?' he responded so fast. I looked deep into his eyes again and asked 'You f**king anyone'? He laughed, 'Of course not, can anyone f**k me like you, I can't think of anyone just you'. He crawled to me and pulled me back into his arms. 'No one f**ks me like you do and so far am getting this, no one comes close so babe, I aint fucking anyone else but you and don't want to; you are my ride and die, I can't get enough of you, its magical with you' He planted a kiss on my forehead. I smiled and kissed him on the lips. 'You f**king anyone'? His words were said hurriedly and with fright 'Of course not' I said with a laugh, 'ok good cause I will kill that man'. We laughed and curled into each other's arms as the electricity went off. 'NEPA' he said as we both burst into hysterical laughter. He looked at me, went down, towards my thighs and opened my legs wide, looking deep into my eyes as he sank low, my breath held, waiting for what was coming. He hardly went down on me cause I wasn't really into it but when he goes down on me...I feel like a thousand stars twinkling all at once in my head, it must be him cause no one else makes me feel this way with a head.


My room door swings open as my cousin walks in, holding chocolate cake, licking her finger - obviously the cake. 'This came for you, no name just I'm sorry. Why don't you forgive and forget babe, it's been a week now. Stop tormenting both of you'. I looked at her and smiled 'I miss him though'. She smiled back, sat next to me and handed me a fork, take a bite and forget. The chocolate cake melted in my mouth, sending me on a sweet-nothing ride. I could forgive but it's hard to forget, the molato was too real to just be a fling or someone to forget. He had a lot of explaining to do.  

Monday, February 16, 2015

14 Secrets of Really Persuasive People by Dr. Travis Bradberry

Whether you’re convincing your boss to fund your project or your preschooler to wipe his own hiney after using the bathroom, persuasion is a skill that's instrumental to your success in life.
Persuasive people have an uncanny ability to get you leaning toward their way of thinking. Their secret weapon is likeability. They get you to like more than their ideas; they get you to like them.
Here are the 15 tricks of the trade that exceptionally persuasive people use to their advantage.
They Know their Audience
Persuasive people know their audience inside and out, and they use this knowledge to speak their audience’s language. Whether it’s toning down your assertiveness when talking to someone who is shy or cranking it up for the aggressive, high-energy type, everyone is different, and catching on to these subtleties goes a long way toward getting them to hear your point of view.
They Connect
People are much more likely to accept what you have to say once they have a sense of what kind of person you are. In a negotiation study, students were asked to reach agreement in class. Without instruction of any kind, 55% of the students successfully reached agreement. However, when students were instructed to introduce themselves and share their background before attempting to reach agreement, 90% of the students did so successfully.
The key here is to avoid getting too caught up in the back and forth of the discussion. The person you are speaking with is a person, not an opponent or a target. No matter how compelling your argument, if you fail to connect on a personal level, he or she will doubt everything you say.
They Aren’t Pushy
Persuasive people establish their ideas assertively and confidently, without being aggressive or pushy. Pushy people are a huge turn off. The in-your-face approach starts the recipient backpedaling, and before long, they’re running for the hills. Persuasive people don’t ask for much, and they don’t argue vehemently for their position because they know that subtlety is what wins people over in the long run. If you tend to come across as too aggressive, focus on being confident but calm. Don’t be impatient and overly persistent. Know that if your idea is really a good one, people will catch on if you give them time. If you don’t, they won’t catch on at all.
They Aren’t Mousy
On the other hand, presenting your ideas as questions or as though they need approval makes them seem flawed and unconvincing. If you tend to be shy, focus on presenting your ideas as statements and interesting facts for the other party to mull over. Also, remove qualifiers from your speech. When you are trying to be persuasive, there is no room for “I think” or “It is possible that.”
They Use Positive Body Language
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will engage people and open them up to your arguments. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that persuasive people use to draw others in. Positive body language will engage your audience and convince them that what you’re saying is valid. When it comes to persuasion, how you say something can be more important than what you say.
They Are Clear and Concise
Persuasive people are able to communicate their ideas quickly and clearly. When you have a firm grasp on what you’re talking about, it’s fun and easy to explain it to those who don’t understand. A good strategy here is to know your subject so well that you could explain it to a child. If you can explain yourself effectively to someone who has no background on the subject, you can certainly make a persuasive case with someone who does.
They Are Genuine
Being genuine and honest is essential to being persuasive. No one likes a fake. People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust them. It’s difficult to believe someone when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.
Persuasive people know who they are. They are confident enough to be comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting and persuasive person than if you attempt to win people over by trying to be the person they want you to be.
They Acknowledge Your Point of View
An extremely powerful tactic of persuasion is to concede the point. Admit that your argument is not perfect. This shows that you are open minded and willing to make adjustments, instead of stubbornly sticking to your cause. You want your audience to know that you have their best interests at heart. Try using statements such as, “I see where you are coming from,” and “That makes a lot of sense.” This shows that you are actively listening to what they are saying, and you won’t just force your ideas upon them. Persuasive people allow others to be entitled to their opinions and they treat these opinions as valid. They do this because it shows respect, which makes the other person more likely to consider their point of view.
They Ask Good Questions
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is failing to hear what’s being said because they are focusing on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows not only that you are listening but also that you care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.
They Paint a Picture
Research shows that people are far more likely to be persuaded by something that has visuals that bring it to life. Persuasive people capitalize on this by using powerful visual imagery. When actual images aren’t available or appropriate, these people tell vivid stories that breathe life into their ideas. Good stories create images in the mind of the recipients that are easy to relate to and hard to forget.
They Leave a Strong First Impression
Research shows that most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction. This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this, you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in your likeability and ability to persuade. First impressions are intimately tied to positive body language. Strong posture, a firm handshake, a smile, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to will help ensure that your first impression is a good one.
They Know When to Step Back
Urgency is a direct threat to persuasion, so tread lightly. When you try to force people to agree instantly, studies show that they are actually more likely to stand by their original opinion. Your impatience causes them to counter your arguments in favor of their own. If your position is strong, you shouldn’t be afraid to back off and give it time to sink in. Good ideas are often difficult to process instantly, and a bit of time can go a long way.
They Greet People by Name
Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels terrific when people use it. Persuasive people make certain they use others’ names every time they see them. You shouldn’t use someone’s name only when you greet him or her. Research shows that people feel validated when the person they’re speaking with refers to them by name.
If you’re great with faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it, and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise. When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to ask his or her name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. You’ll need to keep the name handy if you’re going to remember it the next time you see the person.
They Are Pleasers
Persuasive people never win the battle only to lose the war. They know how and when to stand their ground, and yet they are constantly making sacrifices that help their cause. They are always giving in, giving ground, and doing things for other people that make them happy. Persuasive people do this because they know in the long run this wins people over. They know it’s better to be successful than it is to be “right.”
They Smile
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person they’re talking to. If you want people to like you and believe in you, smile at them during a conversation, and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result. Persuasive people smile a lot because they have genuine enthusiasm for their ideas. This has a contagious effect on everyone they encounter.
Putting It All Together
Persuasive people are adept at reading and responding to other people. They rely heavily on emotional intelligence (EQ) to bring people to their way of thinking. With 90% of top performers high in emotional intelligence, it’s no wonder that persuasive people rely on this skill to get ahead. Add these skills to your repertoire, and you’re on your way to joining this exclusive group.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book,Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world's leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by,Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/14-secrets-really-persuasive-people-dr-travis-bradberry

The Psychology of Language: What Our Words Say About Us by NAOMI SESELJA

“Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45
Communication is simply an outward expression of what is inside a person. While a person might not always be honest, the words they use to articulate their dishonest statements unintentionally sketches that person’s profile – revealing hidden insights into their heart, personality, needs and insecurities.
  • The unnecessary, overusage of "I" is indicative of someone lower in status, or someone absorbed in how the world around them affects them.
  • People of higher intelligence are looking out at the world so they use "I" less frequently.
  • Social Psychologist James Pennebaker says “people who are lying tend to not use the word ‘I.’ They are psychologically distancing themselves. And they also avoid markers of complexity such as conjunctions and prepositions.” (source)
  • Less decisive people and those wrapped up in themselves will make verbose use of the phrase “I think." It would be unproductive to hire anyone for a decision-making position that uses “I think” recurrently.
  • Studies have shown people use "we" after a trauma, characteristic of their need to bond socially. This would suggest people who work best in teams use the word "we" more frequently than "I" to signify the natural connection they feel with others.
  • We notice what we are most concerned with, so mistakenly using the wrong word divulges what we are thinking about.
  • A person that uses words to describe someone’s appearance negatively or mocks the appearance of others is probably insecure about their own.
  • People who say they do something "quickly", "hastily", or "fast" take pride in being reliable, generally making good employees because they don’t want to disappoint.
  • Someone who "just did this" is more impulsive than someone who "decided to do this." A person that decides to do things weighs up their options.
  • Boastful adverbs like again and another suggests a person is tooting their own horn because they need ego-stroking. "I cleaned my desk again." "I completedanother task before deadline."
  • Active people use proactive language - I can, I will, I prefer.
One word can hold more power than the sentence that encases it. Take the above examples within context only, use your discrepancy because there will always be exceptions. Remember that the words we use send out there own message, so we should consciously speak with words of empathy and kindness.
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Naomi Seselja is the founder of Mode Recruitment & Career Services. Content Writer, Resume Writer and Interview Coach, her clients have included CEOs, Investors, Biologists and everything in between from each corner of the globe. For enquiries, please contact Naomi at naomi@moderecruitment.com.au
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-our-words-say-us-naomi-seselja