Escapist

 The screams are loud, can hear them in my mind can see them shouting through the veil, wake up it says. I can’t seem to shake them off. Wake up it yells; no it’s my fault. I gave them the voice, now they scream as loud as a cymbal banging its way through my brain. My mind’s eye search for a part, an escape route yet finds none. ‘No am not a chicken’ I stay put in the silence of the lamb yet the voices destroys, kills my very being like wolves in a pack, devouring their victim. This is you, this is who you are, you can’t be someone else, and you can’t even fake it. ‘I know’ I scream to no one in particular with a voice only my insides can hear. ‘It’s just that how can people see me in different lights?’ was he right when he said I had multiple personality syndrome? I know I’m a different babe to different people. I know I can be sweet and I can be wicked and no one person sees these two sides at the same time (ok just deception). Was he right when he said I’m trapped by the game, I live for the game and now the game has become a part of me and I can’t decipher it from reality. Yes! I’m the master of the game: I rule the game the game don’t rule me. Yes! He is wrong, I play always to win cause am a winner and you, the sore loser.

Orchestrated attempts to make me sober aint going to work either, shutting the voices with vodka, I slip into oblivion enjoying the peace of silence and serenity. It’s not a lonely life I live, it’s a ME life. If my attitude annoys you, you have the WILL to defriend me as it seems. These voices will not choke me; they only make me strong, keeping my emotions in check. The trip was an eye opener, I sensed the betrayal yet I allowed it happen – all part of the game. If I play smooth its cause I don’t let the unwanted get to me. If it hurt u, its cause u claimed to understand the game when u DIDN’T. I’m not a whore so why will u think I play to lose? Mastery of the game takes a lot of efforts, disappointments and emotional instability; Lovers and friends – the ability to keep them after a bang, loyal and faithful is what makes you the MASTER.

Life is a game, the secrets of attraction teaches you how to make it wind to your tune. If am ambitious its cause I was born a WINNER, if am a go-getter it’s because I woke up to reality. I KNOW the LEDGE for KNOWLEDGE is the key to wisdom; WISDOM needed to gain the worlds riches. I boast of a world where I am the gift, the gift of friendship, laughter and most especially freedom. Be not as it may, those who don’t understand hate and what they hate, they fear. I am just the SIMPLE girl next door and when you knock, I shall open and serve you tea laced with vodka. Lol