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Sunday, October 20, 2013

Dairy of a pained pretty woman


U think being ugly is a problem?
Then try being a pretty girl.

I remembered years back when a guy from school told me why he chose to date someone else other than me. He summed it up in this memorable statement ‘she cried for me, you can never cry for me cause you can get any guy with a snap of your finger’.
I never forgot does lines. Then, I called him low intelligent but today, as more of ‘him’ have manifested in my life in various ways, I see the pains every pretty girl goes through. They all want you, to pose with and let the world know they own you but insecurity will never let them commit to you.
One other guy told me ‘I can’t compete with all the attention you get’. That’s sad cause in my heart no one was competing with you so why the fear? Now, with all my certificates and job, they are more scared of a pretty girl with brains. Funny, I am not even where I want to be yet and they have a problem with all my achievements lol.
It’s also difficult when men ask for sex for jobs you have competence in, or in exchange for a job. We get hit on more yes but mostly by people we can’t even stand and sometimes, we are caught in a dead end. A boss who wants to lay you so bad he always gives you a query yes, I had to resign from a job cause of that. A lecturer that felt so much lust for you he did not care who was around in his class as he lectures that he took my face and kissed me in class. The rumors that go round when I am seen with any man, they just assume I have slept with them.
Had a boyfriend that till date did not believe my faithfulness and always imagined another man had slept with me and hated me for it - his obsession. Exes that refuse to go away even after they are married (like what the f**k). i call it 'sue and her men' lol.
It’s not being easy, it’s still a difficult task as I work with men in a field surrounded by majority of them. It did not help matters too that I’m busty. I won’t hear the half of it from boobilicious to the milk factory, To please let me just suck once (grrr). I have become a sex doll in the eyes of these men that all they see walking is ‘sex’. Its repulsive I must say. ‘Most desirable’: use to love that name in high school but detested it as the years passed by. Yes I loved the compliment from the ordinary man on the street or woman (u won’t believe) because another blessing (or curse you may say) was that I was blessed with lovely skin. A friend called it silky skin. Men loved to touch me. They say I am soft.   
It is also painful when you loose jobs just cause you refused to sleep with one of them. A guy (married o) told me once that he made his superior not to offer me a job because he knew he had less chance if we were colleagues. I almost killed him. He still pays for that till date. I am not called(before o) she that must be obeyed for nothing – the punisher.
A big flirt, I got into trouble so many times that guys mistaken my friendliness for ‘I want to screw you-ness’. I stopped being friendly and nice (straight face). More than 3 guys told me I look so sexy and f**kable when I am angry, how I wan take vex again for public? Cause they were right, I actually look so desirable when angry. I don tire o, this looks won’t kill me before my time. Twice, I have been slapped by guy's for refusing to date them. Yep, I was one of them girls cults fought for in school. Funny, I was neither of them’s girlfriend but yeh, they had a piece of me at one time or the other (laughing my flat ass out). Yep I am flat behind but that has not stopped them so imagine if I had that plus height…I did be dead by now. So its no news that through my secondary school to university days, I had friends fighting to be with me. Point of correction, to be known as the man handling the babe but not the man I wanted in my life. I actually dated a guy who hardly talked to me but was quick to let everyone know I was his babe and flaunt. Such is life o, the date no last. Everyone wanted to be my friend; both sexes. The girls were quick to bad mouth me to the sexy guys and get into their trousers and the guys would 'chop' and come to tell me, thinking it will get me wanting them– such stupidity.
That’s another minus for girls like us. We get all the sexy ambitious men but no BFF. Cause all them girls want the sexy ambitious guys even if it means going behind our back to tell tales or truths that can maim the affair. Funny. Don’t get me wrong, there are few nice girls out there and I love them to pieces. Just girls like me attract the wrong kinda girls and guys. We always do.  
So next time when you look into the mirror and hate your ‘not so fine’ looks, remember me and my problem cause you have a lot you will avoid, things that may never be a problem to you that I still struggle at 35 to run away from.

TATA

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