For years, have always wanted that slim flat tummy shape that I didn’t even noticed when I had it until I had my baby and I so wanted to go back to shape and prove to people that my having a baby didn’t mean I can’t be sexy again.
I also wanted them to know I didn’t lost my youth nor freedom. Yes, I got the shape back, yes I did all my teenage mates did but I wasn’t satisfied. Till date, I feel am so fat but people compliment my shape and tell me don’t lose weight just flatten your tummy some more and firm your arms.
Maybe am a bit anorexic cause I still see myself as very fat and I try to fight this. Maybe I lost the confidence when I let the words of people take over me but now as confident as have come to be, being slim and dieting has become an obsession that I diet even in my mind lol.
It’s an enemy I have to kill and kill fast. Have caught out on so much food and snacks I like all in the name of diet and eating right yet I still see the fatso. It’s annoying and irritating cos I know am not fat am just big at the top with some gigantic lovely boobs that I’ll take nothing to give up #grinningsheepishly.
Between last month and this, have lost some weight (gained it during the holiday)I feel my pants sag, my tops abit free and my tires gone. Yet even as I sit and type, am thinking aerobics, dumbbells and how I shouldn’t have eating the little I just ate at all. Believe it, this diet trash has made me hate the feeling of being full after a meal, it has made meals not so tasty to my tongue.
I need to kill this demon called “AM FAT”